Worth the Risk Read online

  Now, she stood by the fire, angled away from him, sneaking furtive glances in his direction. The stiff way she held herself betrayed her attempt at nonchalance. He could almost hear the questions racing through her head.

  Damn, she was beautiful. The grown-up Molly stole his breath. Ash-blonde hair, cut in a fashionable style, fell in gentle waves around her shoulders. Standing in a campground, surrounded by trees, even dressed in shorts, a T-shirt, and runners, she projected an impression of understated sophistication. It was as natural to her as breathing.

  She stood a solid eight to ten inches shorter than him. He remembered teasing her about her height every time he bent down to kiss her. God, he missed kissing her. He curved his lips into a smile as his gaze wandered over the rest of her. Still slender and toned, she had the strength of an athlete and the grace of a dancer. He had been so hot for her back then, certain their love would last forever.

  He didn’t know if anyone knew why he and Molly had broken up. Hell, he didn’t even know why it happened. One minute they were getting ready to graduate from university and start their lives together and the next she was telling him she wanted to be on her own. Well, he’d granted her wish. He’d left without saying good-bye and hadn’t seen her or any of the rest of his family or friends since. Nobody understood how much her rejection had hurt him back then. Nor was he ready to admit the real reason he’d come back home now.

  He shook his head to dislodge the memory. In the past, every time he’d thought about that day, his blood would boil. But now the anger wouldn’t come. In its place he discovered disappointment, and something else…resignation maybe? What changed? Over the years he’d had relationships with other women, though not one of them evolved beyond casual dating.

  Maybe time had simply worked its magic. His hurt outweighed the anger. He also still had—and would always have—feelings for her.

  Did she think about him? Feel anything for him? Was she even available? For all he knew she was happy, married, with a couple of kids. She deserved that. He tried to ignore the knot in his stomach. But the mere idea of another man’s child growing in her belly pissed him off.

  Damn it. He was entitled to answers. If she had moved on, fine, he would be gracious and back away—he hadn’t come home to interfere. But, if she hadn’t, then perhaps a possibility existed for them to…what? To be friends? To start over?

  “I can’t believe it’s you, man. It’s great to see you.” Sam’s deep voice penetrated his thoughts.

  Tanner reached out to shake his hand, while he enticed Olivia to step closer for a hug. “Look at you two. I heard you finally got married last year. Sorry I couldn’t make it back for the wedding. My parents said you looked stunning, Liv.”

  The petit brunette blushed, sidled next to her husband, and circled his waist with her arm. “Not to worry; we have lots of pictures. Are you in town for a while?”

  “Yeah, I’m—”

  “Hey, guys.” Brad smiled at the crowd. “Why don’t we let the man step away from car? Help us get our tent pitched, and then we’ll let him fill us in on what he’s been up to over a beer. I don’t know about the rest of you, but it’s been a long week for me and I’d love to sit down, put my feet up, and get this long weekend started.”

  Thankful for the slight reprieve, Tanner helped Brad unload their gear. Soon enough, he’d have to face Molly and the inquisition.

  Chapter Two

  Ten years. Molly stood rooted to the ground as her friends welcomed Tanner back, looking away each time his glance clashed with hers. Oh, God. Should she stay, get it over with, or run and hide? Was he home to stay or was he visiting? She knew his parents didn’t see him as often as they’d like. He’d fled to Vancouver, and as far as she knew, he’d never been back, forcing them to travel west to see their son. Tanner had left their apartment late that night and never returned. He didn’t even show up for graduation.

  Molly had stayed in Ottawa. She liked living in the city, and she loved her job as a magazine editor. She excelled at it, and she had friends there. However, these trips were the highlight of her existence. Each year, she needed to reconnect with the people who really understood her. After losing her parents, this reconnecting grounded her.

  The crunch of gravel drew her gaze. A dark blue SUV rolled into park behind her red Mazda. The last of the bunch, Matt, picked the perfect moment to arrive. However, the placement of his car created an effective barrier. She wasn’t going anywhere now.

  He climbed from his car and retrieved something from the back. Colleen jogged over to help him. Desperate for a distraction, Molly dragged her attention from Tanner and, through sheer force of will, switched it to Colleen and Matt. They rummaged around for a couple minutes in the back of his car and then backed out with three trays of coffees and two boxes of donuts.

  Caffeine and sugar. That should make her feel better. A beer would work faster. She kept a speculative eye on Tanner through lowered lashes. Time passed in a haze of memories. Tanner extricated himself from the group and sauntered toward her. She jerked back to the present, straightening her spine.

  He studied her, his head cocked slightly to the right. He approached as though he expected her to flee. With each step that brought him closer, her heartbeat picked up and her nipples hardened until they peaked stiff beneath her shirt. Molly crossed her arms over her chest. Warmth unfurled low in her belly. She couldn’t do much about her damp panties. It had been a long time, but seemingly her heart and her body hadn’t suffered from memory loss and after a decade of yearning, decided to go for broke.

  Tanner stopped five feet away and then closed the distance by three. She’d forgotten how tall he was. His dark hair grazed his shoulders in a shaggy, but masculine mess. The years had been kind to him. Her mouth watered for the second time today. And again, some oxygen would be nice.

  He wore a pair of chocolate brown boots, well-worn jeans, and a body-hugging black T-shirt made with his specific measurements in mind. It outlined every muscle he had, and he had plenty. She pressed her lips together, tight. No need to embarrass herself by drooling.

  “Hello, Molly.” His voice was deeper, his face leaner, and though he’d dropped his shades over his eyes when he got out of the car, she remembered their swirling gray depths. Regardless of his mood, looking into his eyes always made her picture an overcast day, the clouds heavy with the promise of rain.

  “Tanner.”

  The sounds of her friends talking, other campers arriving and setting up, and children playing a game of tag over in the field all became background noise, fading away while they stood, drinking each other in. He had matured. His body, his demeanor, everything about him spoke volumes of the man he had become—a harder version of the young man she had known, of the boy she had loved. He oozed confidence and sensuality.

  Her body hummed its approval. Visions of her arms and legs, entangled with his, danced through her head. Wow. Good thing she packed extra undies.

  Colleen chose that moment to interrupt them, placing herself between their bodies. How she managed to avoid getting singed, Molly would never know. “Hey, you two. Grab a drink, or a coffee and a donut, and let’s catch up. We’re all dying to know what you’ve been up to, Tanner.”

  The spell broken, Molly closed her eyes and dropped her head, dragging in a deep gulp of fresh air.

  Tanner cleared his throat. “Uh, sure. Brad and I are going to get the tent pitched first.”

  With Colleen as her shield, Molly kept her eyes to ground, but she could feel Tanner’s gaze boring into the top of her head before he excused himself to join the others.

  Colleen spun around and grabbed Molly’s hand, yanking her over a few steps. “Wow. You two seemed to have forgotten the rest of us were here. Are you OK?”

  “Yes. And thank you. I didn’t know what to say to him. I’m stunned he’s here. You’re sure you didn’t know he was coming?” Surely her friend wouldn’t have kept her in the dark. Had Molly known, she never would have made the
trip this year.

  “No. I’m as surprised as you. While you two were staring each other down, I grilled Brad. Apparently, Tanner just got back to town. Brad ran into him this morning and invited him.” Colleen frowned, but held Molly’s gaze. Her voice a whisper, she asked the same question she’d asked many times over the ages. “What happened, Molly? Are you ever going to tell me?”

  Colleen had never pushed for an explanation. Molly regretted that she couldn’t confide in her best friend, but it had nothing to do with trust and everything to do with grief, guilt, and the pact she’d made with herself. “It was a long time ago, and something I don’t think about anymore. I’d prefer to leave it in the past.” In truth, it never drifted far from her thoughts. She had worked long and hard to get to the point where she remembered without the constant threat of tears. The guilt still needed work.

  She shook her head. Ten years had passed in the blink of an eye. She’d decided long ago to never tell a soul. And with her parents gone, that promise had been easy to keep. She just hoped that somewhere along the way Tanner had forgiven her.

  Colleen offered her a sympathetic smile and hauled her in close for a hug. Molly closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, releasing it on a sigh of relief. She’d been granted another reprieve from divulging her secret, at least for now.

  * * *

  Brad raised his beer. “Here’s to the official start of blackfly season and a long weekend with no rain.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Matt’s hoot of laughter made the others smile. “This is Canada, and it’s May Two-Four. That’s synonymous with cold, damp, and wet.”

  Molly couldn’t agree more. But like most Canadians, this weekend was a tradition, regardless of the weather. Sort of comparable to giving birth and forgetting about the pain—something Molly would never experience.

  Bottles clinked around the table. After Brad, Tanner, and Matt had finished pitching their tents around the double site and stowed their gear, they gathered around the picnic tables. Molly chose the end opposite Tanner, where she could observe unnoticed.

  The remains of sandwiches and a variety of junk food lay scattered among them. A few chipmunks, moving past their stage of shyness, darted in and out grabbing dropped crumbs. The noise level had risen as the other weekend campers arrived. A group of young kids started a game of horseshoes at the site across from them, the ping of steel on steel sporadic throughout the late afternoon.

  From beneath lowered lids, she watched Tanner survey the area.

  “You managed to snag a perfect spot.” He nodded his appreciation.

  Sam snatched up a handful of chips. “Me and Liv came in early and booked them for us. Good thing, too, because the park’s full. Snagging this end of the loop was lucky.”

  “So, Tanner, have you been in Vancouver all this time?” Matt asked the question everyone wanted to know.

  “Yes, but most of the time I’ve been up at Whistler. I went out to visit my aunt and uncle in Vancouver. Then I got a summer job at the ski hill working in one of the restaurants.” Tanner sipped from his beer. “I stayed at the hill for a year, living with friends while I worked.” He shrugged. “I had nothing to come home to, so I decided to stay.” Molly’s gaze jumped to Tanner’s, but even without his glasses, his eyes were hooded, his thoughts hidden.

  The strained silence seemed to last forever, but it only existed between the two of them. Molly scanned the others around the table until her gaze collided with Colleen’s. Molly ducked her head.

  “You know, I can still remember our first trip out here,” Matt said.

  “Yeah, the year we graduated from high school. God, we were just kids.” Brad laughed. He grew serious and tossed a pointed stare in Tanner’s direction. “You know, over the years I’ve seen plenty of people leave town. They don’t visit too often. In a small town, that hits families hard. We’ve missed you, man.”

  “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch. Nothing changed much in town though.”

  “Nothing ever changes around here.” Matt took a drink of his beer.

  “I noticed old Mrs. Peterson still has her garden of tulips in every color.”

  “Yeah, but she doesn’t have Mr. Peterson to help her care for it anymore. Her daughter comes every fall and plants a few new bulbs to replace any the squirrels dug up, and she’ll be back in to clean it out before end of summer.”

  “Can’t say I’ve missed the smell of pine trees and spring flowers mixed in with the aroma of discarded cigarette butts, thawing mud, and dog crap being slowly revealed by the melting snow.” The guys laughed, but Molly felt certain she detected a bit of nostalgia in Tanner’s voice.

  Brad and Tanner had been best friends as kids. They had similar interests, but were polar opposites in appearance. Where Brad was of medium height, blond, blued-eyed, and somewhat baby-faced, Tanner stood tall, dark and brooding, but sinfully handsome.

  She and Tanner had known each other since kindergarten, but didn’t hook up until midway through high school. As a young girl, she had adored him from afar. Once she got to know him though, she discovered that he was far from a small-town bad boy. He carried deep respect for his family and friends, and he offered his assistance freely. And yet, when she’d needed him most, she hadn’t allowed herself to let him help her.

  “So, what do you do?” Brad’s question jostled her out of her memories.

  “I got a full-time job managing one of the restaurants at the hill.”

  “What brings you back home?” Matt’s question sent Tanner’s gaze traveling around the group until it reached Molly. Trapped by those damn swirls in his eyes, she held her breath, waiting for his next words. “I’m buying a restaurant.”

  “Cool. Where’s the restaurant? Up at the hill or in Vancouver?”

  His eyes darkened. “Actually, it’s in Ottawa.”

  Molly gasped and covered her mouth with one hand, turning it into a cough to cover up her surprise. Exclamations and questions abounded around the table. Molly tried to pay attention to the conversation as Matt grilled Tanner about his plans, but once again, a hive of bees had taken up residence between her ears.

  He was moving back, would be living in Ottawa. Oh, Lord. Her body sizzled—with excitement or fear, she didn’t know which. Most days she considered it a large city. She could avoid him—right? But it was also small enough that no matter where he lived, she would be a mere twenty to forty minutes away. Being so close to him, and not being with him, would kill her.

  For her part, Molly had never gotten over him. How could she? He had been her first love, her first lover. She had believed they’d be together forever. Funny how forever isn’t very long.

  As the conversation droned on around her, Molly slipped back to one special night. The night she had never forgotten. Not a single word, not a single touch. She remembered each and every second. It was the night she resurrected often, the only thing that could get her through to tomorrow when she became immersed in remembering everything that she’d lost.

  Chapter Three

  Over Ten Years Ago

  Taking her hand, Tanner led her to a secluded spot at the north end of the beach, a private nook nestled in amongst the trees. The rest of their friends were back at the campsite, arguing over who won that last game of cards.

  When they reached the perfect spot, he released his hold on her hand to lay out the blanket. With a flick of his wrists, he let it fly out before it settled in the grass. He unzipped the sleeping bag and laid it opened over the blanket. Kicking off his shoes, he crawled between the blankets of the makeshift bed and reached out to her. She laid her hand in his. With a playful tug, he hauled her down beside him and wrapped the sleeping bag snug around her.

  Lying side by side, hands clasped under their heads, they gazed up at the star-studded sky. Water lapped at the shoreline, soothing her, lulling her into a sensuous, romantic state. The chirps of a few crickets and the occasional splash of a frog or fish jumping into the water were the only disrup
tions in their cozy little universe. The scent of Tanner tickled her nose. He never used cologne, just Irish Spring and him. She rolled her head to peer at him. He lay there, staring at her.

  “This is perfect.” Her voice was a whisper.

  Without a word, he rolled to his side and canted over her, brushing his lips across hers. His were soft, his touch tender. She couldn’t resist opening her mouth, allowing his tongue to slide inside and dance with hers.

  He raised a hand to cup her face as he deepened the kiss. She reached up and twined her arms around his neck, pulling until his chest fell onto hers. His heart thudded against her. Wrapped together, she surrendered to him.

  After a passionate embrace, he ended the kiss and cradled her in one arm while the other rested against her lower belly. His gaze held hers as he inched his hand under her sweater, his fingers tiptoeing in a feather-light touch to cover her breast.

  She arched her body, pushing her breast into his grasp.

  He bent down to devour her mouth again, their teeth clacking together. She giggled. When he withdrew, she gasped at the hot searing look in his eyes. The desire to laugh disappeared. In the moonlight, his eyes were darker than the night. His chest rose and fell with each breath.

  “Come here.” Tugging her to a sitting position, he pulled her sweater over her head and dispensed with her bra. Then he laid her back down. The contrast of his tender caresses to the heated attack of his mouth pushed her own arousal to somewhere between a simmer and a boil. He shimmied down her body, taking the tip of one breast into his mouth. After lavishing it with licks and gentle nips he switched to the other, sucking it hard. The cover had slipped off and a cool breeze blew over their bodies, drying their already dampening skin. She hardly noticed. Her shiver had nothing to do with the temperature.